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Comments of the Week 69 – I see what you did there

Welcome back to Comments of the Week, the number one hit community showcase on Destructoid! I’m your host, the delightful Dreamweaver, bringing you the knockoff version of America’s Funniest Home Videos with copy-pasted comments involuntarily stolen from community members such as yourselves! Don’t even think about suing me; I have an army of angry kangaroos that are just eager to jump your ass!

Besides, why would you want to sue the guy that travels all over the front page to snatch the very best comments said last week to compile them all in one place for the folks who either want to see what they missed out on, or simply want to relive the coolest moment in their entire lives? Yeah, I’m totally Robin Hood, but without the tights. As always, comments are available in three toppings:

TRUTH: kangaroos can’t walk backwards.

LOL: they will never learn to moonwalk.

WUT?: how will they become kings of the animal kingdom now?

“Wait a minute, didn’t you have an army of ninja assassins last week?”

Why yes, I did! However, due to the costs of overtime — apparently, they’re always on the clock — I had to let most of them go. However, kangaroos aren’t so bad, so long as you don’t step on their young when you sleep in their pouch.

I swear, his head looked like that before I got in!

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From Nekro’s Quickpost


Dreamweaver: So you’re saying Carter should run for President?

Dreamweaver: Yeah, screw him. He’s not even that goofy.

From Someone plug a hole in all these Batman Arkham HD Collection leaks



Dreamweaver: Looks like someone… better warn a brother.

From Publisher of obscure JRPG censors outfit just for the attention (Fauxclusive)


Dreamweaver: When they gonna bring back Kenan and Kel?

From Street Fighter V sales fall short of Capcom’s expectation



Dreamweaver: Just like me in bed.

From The next Naruto game is called Ultimate Ninja Blazing


Dreamweaver: Damn, the stoners were ninjas all along…

From EA surpassed its lofty goals for Star Wars Battlefront


Dreamweaver: There’s a whole lotta fucking going on.

From Naughty Dog snuck a couple cute Easter eggs in the Uncharted 4 trophies



Dreamweaver: I bet Konami has a whole bunch of material then, am I right?

Dreamweaver: Can we switch guys with guns? Mine told me to do weird stuff.

From Hitman’s Elusive Targets missions go live ‘at some point’ today


Dreamweaver: So… missions no one will play? Seriously, who buys games at Target?

Though, it would be kinda ironic for Target to have Hitman exclusive missions.

From Disney Infinity 4.0 sounds like it could’ve been awesome



Dreamweaver: And the comment is all the better for it!

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From Tunisian mobile game gives away two real, living cows


Dreamweaver: Oh, I’d dairy her login…

Wait, that’s a cow, not a horse. False alarm.

From Chromie is the glass cannon I never knew I wanted


Dreamweaver: Dangus loves to make fun of his girlfriends. 😛

From Apparently there’s a Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Trilogy coming?


Dreamweaver: Haha… scrotum.

Dreamweaver: Haha… testicles.

From Street Fighter V has eight frames of input lag on PS4


Dreamweaver: The Framing Group Convention thanks you!


Dreamweaver: “Input lag” is what I call the time between penetrating a woman and hearing her disappointed reaction.

From Has the toys to life bubble popped? Disney Infinity is no more as publisher shutters console gaming division


Dreamweaver: Better than Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

From Russian embassy warns of chemical warfare with Command & Conquer screen



Dreamweaver: Despite the violence, the news will focus solely on the naked Goombas.

From Final Fantasy X/X-2 HD Remaster released on Steam, deals up to 40% off


Dreamweaver: Don’t tease us like that!

From Homeoftheblues’ Quickpost


Dreamweaver: Popcorn Salvadore? I hardly know her!

From Sega’s fiscal year was profitable, but not because it was successful



Dreamweaver: And they did.

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From After all these years Shy Guy’s face has finally been revealed



Dreamweaver: …He’s not a real doctor!

From We really want to play that Dark Souls board game


Dreamweaver: Better make sure you read the instructions. This is NOT a box you wanna get your dick stuck in.

From Xbox boss praises Uncharted 4’s ‘amazing work’



Dreamweaver: I hate to be in this guy’s family pictures/

From Influence the future of Destructoid, take a quick survey



Dreamweaver: Well, if you’re going to be polite about it…

From The best starter Pokemon, ranked



Dreamweaver: I mean, he’s technically in last place…

Dreamweaver: Maybe he hates wet T-shirt contests.


Dreamweaver: Or so he wants you to believe.

From The Division is now the biggest new IP launch ever


Dreamweaver: What women say when I ask them to sleep with me.

From Let’s whip Zack into shape with this Castlevania-themed exercise video


Dreamweaver: Seriously, the rest of the title is just fluff.

Dreamweaver: I know, it makes you wanna pee.

From Review in Progress: Doom


Okay, nobody panic! You saw his whip skills. He’ll be fine. Ish.

Plus, his name’s Furniss, so you know he can handle the heat.

Dreamweaver: These floors are clearly not up to code.

From Review: Stellaris



Dreamweaver: Does it matter?

And that’s it for this edition! I hope you guys had a good time! Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to retire to the warm, cozy pouch of my kangaroo mama. Just gotta find out where I put her dead baby’s skin so I can sneak back in there…

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